i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
sex in a hospital.. check
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
