its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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