Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
