The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's no shave November. This is our time.
you never un-have a 4some
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
