In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
