Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
