I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
