need another drink. this is the easiest way
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
