So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
