I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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