i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
be right there i have to get my cape
you never un-have a 4some
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize