im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
please come you make the beer taste better
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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