just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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