I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
