THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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