so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
