I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Success! We fucked roommates!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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