He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
