I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
