Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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