It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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