i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize