Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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