I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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