Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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