Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
