Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
