now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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