absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
