Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
