I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
