So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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