She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize