May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
