that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize