My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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