You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize