I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
