oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize