I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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