okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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