she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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