Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize