OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
