I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
