Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize