I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
