Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize