I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
