dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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