I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Pooping to opera.
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