Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We left the knife in your bed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
