Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
