Kiss
Puke
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
