need another drink. this is the easiest way
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
