Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
