How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
