He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
