Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
