dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
