I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
