I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize