you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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