angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
