Sry I called you an 8
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have already put on my inside pants.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
