Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
