he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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