Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
