no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
