He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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