just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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