The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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