bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We're too hungover to prance.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
