Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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