never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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