it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
